Chapter Nineteen - The Second Astrodeus
A World without Misery (Interitus 1: Book 0)
Chapter Nineteen – The Second Astrodeus
Thousands of voices screamed from all directions. Incoherent
cries choked the hollows of the abyss. The few pleading voices which had
somehow strung themselves together were eclipsed by the endless misery. As
Hatasuko stood with his feet in the pebbly sand of the Fons Vitae, he kept his
nose just above the colorful water so that he could breathe. He kept his eyes
closed tightly as he contemplated the anguish in the tempest. He could
practically feel the lost souls writhing in his brain, destabilizing it with
their misery. He felt more desperate now than ever before to find a way to end
the Interfecti, but every time he let his mind wander to the future, he replayed
the crushing memory of his most recent failure.
As the calm water of the Fons Vitae slowly healed the bruises
and cuts which scattered his body, Hatasuko remembered his last fight against
the Interfectus. He remembered that the monster launched its scattershot at the
factory where Vaida had been fighting; he remembered his injured body stumbling
forward, desperately trying to somehow save her. He remembered his blood spewing
from the gashes in his legs. He remembered being scared more than ever before.
And when he had finally found Vaida in the factory, protected from the flames
only by a shallow puddle of glass and water, he covered her to preserve her
from the flames. That had triggered her to revisit her nightmare.
“I’m still mad at you,” Vaida whispered from behind.
Though Hatasuko was awake, he had been trapped in a
stupor—locked in his mind, caught between the tempest and his memories. He
heard the splash of her body moving through the water behind him. But after he
turned to face her, he was surprised to feel her arms wrap around his back.
Vaida stopped swimming and embraced him closely in the shallows of the Fons
Vitae. Her wet hair stuck to her face as her wrinkly fingers gripped his skin.
Hatasuko could feel her heart race in her chest, but she had the opposite
effect on him. The screaming tempest became quieter. The agony did not
disappear, but it was hesitant to interfere.
Hatasuko had only just now noticed the voices and
splashes of other people in the water, since he had spent the last hour
concentrating on the tempest. He saw many people, but none of them looked
happy. They were all covered with deep gashes, missing limbs, stained with burn
wounds, or touched with other tragic injuries. They were all victims of the
onslaught in Bones City. As he panned his golden eyes across the Fons Vitae, Hatasuko
took a moment to appreciate the beautiful waterfall that gently poured from the
starlit sky.
Vaida said, “I want you to stop lying to me. Please. I
know it isn’t fair, um, I know it isn’t fair for me to ask anyone else to be
open. But I’ve shared, I mean, I’ve told you so much. I just wish you would let
me in.”
Hatasuko turned to look at Vaida’s face. He could see the
anxiety in her eyes. Since water covered her skin, the left side of her face
shimmered from the pulsing stars in the sky. Her dark hair concealed the scars
on her face. Her lips looked like they quivered as she stared into his eyes.
“But Vaida, you’ve been through a lot. You said before
that your body is a canvas of tragedy, that you remember your pain every time
you see your scars. Compared to you, my problems aren’t even worth worrying
about. I just want to focus on curing you from-”
“There is no cure for me, Hatasuko. My trauma will
hang with me for as long as I live. It’s my curse. I have to accept that this
pain is here to stay, and nothing in the world can ever take it away. I’m in
love with you, I truly am, but you are not a cure. You are not a
cure because there is no cure. Nothing can heal these scars; nothing can
lift this curse. I’m not telling you this because I want to hurt you. I’m not
trying to get you to leave me alone. It’s just that, well, this is going to
happen again. This is going to happen a lot. Sometimes, I’m going to shut down.
Sometimes, I’m going to feel so miserable that I don’t want to move. I’m
telling you this because I don’t want you to blame yourself when this happens.
I just want you to understand that I’m hurt, that I’m going to be hurt forever.
But even when it looks like I’m drowning, I won’t let go. I won’t let go
because of you,” Vaida explained, hiding her shy eyes.
When Vaida glanced back up, a small tear hung in the
corner of her dead eye. Though her arms were already wrapped around him,
Hatasuko embraced her and pressed the side of his face against hers.
He said, “I’ll try my best not to blame myself. I just
wish I could do more for you! Sometimes, sometimes it feels like it’s the only
thing I think about. Somehow helping you.”
“I think that’s the difference between us. I think about
my pain constantly. I don’t try to, and I promise that I want to just
somehow let it go, but I’m obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about it! Everything
reminds me. But you’re the total opposite! The Interfectus afflicted both of us
with tragedy, but you don’t ever confront it. You constantly push it
away. You never let anyone else in. It’s like you use your ambition as an
excuse to hide from yourself. I’m sorry if this sounds weird, and I know I sound
crazy, um, I’ve just been thinking about this a lot. I kinda rehearsed all
that. Just not this last part,” Vaida admitted, stammering at the end.
Hatasuko scratched his head for a moment in thought, but
then he set his hand onto her back as they held each other in the water.
Vaida muttered, “I always kinda felt like, well, like you
keep me at arm’s length. Not that I blame you. I hide from the world. I’m
afraid of everyone. But I don’t want you to hide from me. I don’t want you to
hide from yourself, either. I guess the reason I worry, um, or the reason I
bring this up….”
Vaida stopped herself for a moment and took a deep
breath. Hatasuko could feel her anxiety, so he pulled his face away from hers.
She stared down at the rosy water and thought for a moment in silence.
“When you protected me in the fire, um, when you pulled
me out… it was your eyes. I don’t know how to describe it. They were like the
eyes of a scared child. A child helplessly clinging onto the only thing he has
left. They were, well, they were the eyes of a crying boy, trying to save his
mother from the Interfectus. Except this time it wasn’t your mother. I wonder…
if you even realize how much it eats at you,” she explained.
“I guess you’re right. The truth is that I don’t spend much
time perusing through old memories. It’s not that they’re useless; I’m sure I
could grow a lot if I stopped and tried to learn a lesson from it all. It’s not
even that my memories are buried by the tempest; I could confront my own misery
just as I confront the world’s. But I think it’s because I have absolutely no
right to ever feel sorry for myself. There is no excuse for me to wallow in my
misery—not when so many have suffered so much more than me. Not when their
voices whisper in my ear,” Hatasuko explained.
“I don’t want you to think I’m telling you this, um, I
think I’m trying to say that I’m not telling you this because I want you to
hurt. I don’t. I wish you didn’t have any pain. I wish nobody had any
pain… but we do. You do. It’s there even if you try to hide from it. But
um, I just want to try to help you. Or at least understand you. Or at least
support you. When we were, well, when you pulled me from the fire… I said some
things. I said some really mean things,” Vaida spoke timidly, still not meeting
his gaze.
As voices and splashes sounded in the background,
Hatasuko and Vaida began moving toward shore. Hatasuko was tall enough to walk,
but Vaida had to swim for a while until her feet reached the pebbly sand.
“You didn’t say anything mean. It was just a shock. But
who am I to talk about shock? You had a panic attack because of me. I knew it
was a mistake, but I couldn’t bear the thought of it happening again. I
couldn’t handle the thought of losing you,” he admitted.
“You’re doing it again, dummy! You’re allowed to
feel hurt. You’re allowed to feel shock. Especially after the words… you know,
the words I said.”
“Was it true?” Hatasuko asked as they stepped out onto
the desert sand.
“I hate to admit it, but yeah… it was. I don’t think we
would be as close as we are now if you didn’t carry any weight. If you weren’t
afflicted with misery, then I don’t think we would be able to understand each
other. I promise that I’m not saying that I’m happy for, um, everything you’ve
gone through. I guess it’s just the way I try to make something good out of a
bad situation. You were hurt, but you found me because of it. And I found you,”
Vaida answered, looking over at him with a shy smile.
Hatasuko smiled back and said, “In a way, I think that’s
beautiful. That’s exactly the kind of thing my mother used to talk about. The
world can knock us down, but it cannot hold us down. It’s like the story of
your life. A wonderful girl lost everything she had, but went on to become
Agrideī’s most brilliant inventor. She fought the monster that creates all
misery, just trying to help everyone else. I-”
But before Hatasuko could continue, Vaida shoved an
aterpomus into his open mouth. He gave a plaintive groan as he set his hand on
the fruit, but Vaida giggled quietly and then searched the sail-rana for other
fruit.
“Stop, Hatasuko, you’re making me blush! I was trying to
stay mad at you so you would listen, but then you keep saying sweet things and
knocking me off-focus,” Vaida pouted, crossing her shimmering arms.
Hatasuko smiled as she said this. Her cheeks glowed
slightly red from her blushing, though she tried to hide her face as she
searched for the perfect fruit. The powerful wind blew through her hair so that
it looked like a wave of dark string, hiding her scarred arm as she reached
around the vehicle. Hatasuko chuckled lightly as he chomped through the
aterpomus in his hand.
“You don’t need to be mad to make me listen. You know
that!” Hatasuko said with an entertained grin.
“Maybe so, but I have to be careful. You don’t exactly
think these things through,” she mumbled, her face hidden by her windblown
hair.
“Ha! What are you talking about? I’m not reckless at
all!”
“Then why were you so ready to throw your fucking life away?”
The sudden change in tone caught Hatasuko off-guard. He
glanced down at her grimacing face since it was no longer hidden by her hair.
Her dead eye glared into him while her other eye angrily looked away.
“Whoa, Vaida, what are you talking about?” Hatasuko
asked.
Vaida sat down on the edge of the sail-rana and closed
her eyes so that she could not see him staring. Her little body shook slightly
from a rush of anxiety. The vehicle jostled from this motion.
“In the piscileo factory… in the burning building where
you found me. You threw yourself on top of me. Were you really going to
sacrifice yourself to the flames? Were you really going to throw away the only
chance that humankind has left?” Vaida asked.
“I had to. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I
couldn’t-”
“And what if you did save me? What then? If I had
to watch you die like I watched him die, how could I live with that?! How
could I live with that?!” she demanded.
Hatasuko tossed the small remainder of his fruit on the
ground and set his big hand on her shoulder. Vaida turned and embraced him
again. At first, she hugged him tightly with her muscles flexed, but as her
emotions transformed from anger to sorrow, her grip slowly loosened. Everything
about the embrace seemed to loosen except for her head; she buried her face
into his muscular stomach as she spoke. Her whole body was trembling again; her
fingertips dug through his clothes and into his skin.
“When, um, when it first happened, when I first lost
them… I watched him die. I watched with eyes burned open. He, um, he just
burned up. The flames went through him. While he was on top of me. Covering me.
Protecting me. The flames took my father and scarred my skin with memories.
Ugly, ugly memories. If I ever had to suffer that again, like I almost
did in that factory, well, I just, I know… I couldn’t recover. I would never
recover. There would be no more Vaida. If I lost you like I lost him. You
wouldn’t be saving me. I would rather be dead.”
As Vaida pressed her shaking body against his and hid her
eyes beneath his shirt, Hatasuko lifted his big hands and held them upon her.
He hugged her tightly so that he could somehow comfort her, but he knew that he
had triggered her discomfort in the first place.
“You’re right; I definitely didn’t think it through. In
my defense, there was very little time to come up with a better plan, and my
brain wasn’t exactly working at full power. I had lost a lot of blood, the
adrenaline was choking my brain, and, well, I couldn’t think about anything but
saving you,” he quietly explained so no one would overhear.
“I know. I know you never meant to make me have that
reaction. I know it isn’t fair for me to react like this, but I think I’ve
always been the queen of overreactions. I punch mirrors when they call me ugly.
I don’t, um, I don’t exactly have a good handle on myself,” she whispered back,
beginning to calm down.
“Me neither. You and I are prone to mistakes, but that’s
alright. Every now and then, it’s probably a good thing to get a reminder that
we’re still human. Nothing more or less than any of the rest of them.”
A distant yell abruptly interrupted their conversation.
The voice was stifled because the wind blew in the opposite direction, but
Vaida and Hatasuko could hear that someone was distraught. The yell came from a
distant group of people on the northeast horizon; they would have camouflaged
with the dark desert if it weren’t for the light of the torches they carried. A
group of five people ran toward the Fons Vitae. Many of them shouted
incoherently, and two of them pushed a large wagon.
“They’re distressed. They need help!” Vaida realized, and
then she took off running toward the torches.
Hatasuko agreed, grabbed his whip from inside the
sail-rana, and dashed after her. They ran together at near-top speed as the
distant shouts became slightly more audible. They were clearly yelling for
help. When Hatasuko ran past Vaida, he dropped the handle of the whip while
clinging onto the loose end. When she grabbed on, the whip became a mediator
between their speeds, and so he dragged her forward with his superhuman
strength. As they rapidly approached the group of torch-bearing people,
Hatasuko realized that their wagon carried two bloody bodies. He could not
judge their condition, but he noticed the blood shimmering from the glow of the
torches. He realized that these people were trying to rush their friends to the
Fons Vitae as a last hope to save their lives.
“Let me help you! I’m really strong and fast!” Hatasuko
yelled out to them as he let go of the whip.
But the torch-wielding people did not graciously accept.
As soon as they saw the giant man running toward them, they stopped running and
dropped their torches on the ground. Three of the people who did not push the
wagon, that being two women and one large man, all pulled out bows and hooked an
arrow on each bowstring. Hatasuko and Vaida both stopped running at once. He
could see a deep terror burning in their eyes.
“Whoa, please don’t shoot! I’m here to help. Your friends
have to make it to the fountain, right? I can push them there a whole lot
faster than you,” Hatasuko announced.
“Don’t try to deceive us, monster! We know exactly what
you are,” barked the large man.
“Haizo, we don’t have another choice! They’re gonna bleed
out any second now. They won’t survive if we keep trying to run them. We’re
slow, we’re tired, we’re injured! Our friends will die if we keep pushing,”
yelled a woman as she pushed the wagon.
“Please trust him! Have you heard the stories of the
giant who fights the Interfecti? That’s him! He’s a good man; he won’t hurt
you, I promise!” Vaida yelled as she ran up.
The man named Haizo sighed and grumbled, but he finally
relented. He lowered his bow and stepped out of the way, so Hatasuko ran up and
threw his hands on the reins. With a tired grunt, he began pulling the wagon
and forced it to move forward; the other people tried to help. In less than
half a minute, the wagon rolled so quickly that the others could not keep up.
Vaida and the injured bowmen were too slow to push the wagon, but they managed
to keep pace with Hatasuko. He used all his strength to pull the wagon forward.
Every now and then, he glanced over his shoulder and saw that the people in
this group still stared at him with sharp glares. He could practically feel
their animosity burning into him with every step.
After about fifteen strenuous minutes of pulling the
wagon over the hard desert sand, Hatasuko glanced up at the glistening
waterfall. The beautiful water shone with a rosy color as it shimmered from the
light of the pulsing stars. He grinned at the fountain and stayed focused on it
so that he could ignore his own lethargy.
“Hatasuko, watch out! You’re gonna roll right into the
water,” yelled Vaida.
Hatasuko glanced back down and saw that she was right;
the wagon was very close to the oasis. He quickly slowed down so that he could
drag the wagon to a stop, but the bowmen did not stop running. Before the wagon
slowed down, they grabbed the bloody bodies of their friends and pulled them
into the water. Before everyone immersed themselves in the water, Hatasuko
realized that they were all injured. Blood stained everyone in this group. They
all looked like they were dehydrated from running through the desert; their
skin practically clung to their bones.
Hatasuko and Vaida entered the healing waters so that it
could soothe their exhaustion. The band of desert runners continued to stare at
Hatasuko, even as the water soothed their injuries. He noticed this, but he
could not tell if they were angry or apprehensive.
“Should we go? I’m not entirely sure what to make of
this,” Hatasuko whispered.
“Something strange is going on. I can understand why
someone might be afraid of you. You are pretty intimidating. But why are they
angry at you? This isn’t adding up,” said Vaida.
Hatasuko nodded and scratched his head. With a heavy
sigh, he looked over the group of people floating in the calm water, trying to
find the best one to talk to. Haizo was the only person away from the others, so
Hatasuko could talk to him without causing any unwanted reaction. With a quiet
sigh, Hatasuko swam toward the lone man. Haizo watched with narrow eyes, but he
said nothing as Hatasuko approached.
“Can I ask what happened to you and your friends?”
Hatasuko asked.
“I’m surprised you don’t already know. But so far, I
don’t have a reason to hate you. I hate to admit it, but you’ve been a huge
help. You might have even saved my friends. So I’ll tell you. I come from the
city Lumipyla. Do you know where that is?” Haizo asked as the water cleansed
his wounds.
“Yes, I do. It’s hidden in a canyon that shines brightly from
the starlight. Fireflies light the streets. It’s more beautiful than anywhere I’ve
seen. The most beautiful city in the world,” Hatasuko answered.
“Fireflies and bright starlight… yes. That is my city.
Lumipyla has known peace for a long time because it is hidden from the world,
but it is also vulnerable for this same reason. We were attacked. Our village
was burned to the ground, and it wasn’t by an Interfectus,” Haizo explained,
looking angrily at the water below him.
Vaida
swam up to Haizo and Hatasuko so that she could listen. She had to tread water
to keep herself afloat in the healing waters, but her splashes were quiet and
timid.
Haizo
continued, “I don’t know how to describe the attackers. They were monsters
hidden in the forms of men. These two foreigners stumbled into the canyon, so
the villagers tried to help them. We’re known for hospitality in Lumipyla; we
find many stray travelers who get lost in the desert. But these men were merely
disguised as humans. I wasn’t there when it first began, but the young
men just attacked a crowd. Tore them down with swords, at first. But even their
swords were possessed! They were stained with a weird-looking symbol. And when the
villagers got cut, their bodies just caught on fire. Black fire. Most villagers
tried to run away, but some stayed and fought. I was there when they revealed
their true form. Most of us were. It was truly terrifying.
“It
looked like all the energy in the world just poured into the swordsmen. Even
the light itself just seems to surge inside them. Their bodies were as bright
as a fire when they transformed. It felt like even the air itself was being
sucked in. The pressure and temperature got ripped from the air. Ice spread
across the ground. It was so cold it hurt to breathe! When the transformation
ended, they both stepped out of the icy light in the form of giants. They
looked just like you. Monsters, not men. We all ran like hell, but the monsters
continued killing. They tore down everyone they could catch! That burst of
black fire accompanied every single murder. And when we tried to run, one of
the giants got us with some energy weapon. I don’t know how to describe it, but
there was a big explosion that got every single one of us. We ran away from
Lumipyla and rushed here; it’s the only way to save our dying friends. I can
only imagine what they’re doing to the canyon as we speak.”
Hatasuko and Vaida exchanged an uneasy glance. He could
see concern in her blue eye, but she saw only apprehension in his. She glanced
back at the sail-rana to silently suggest that they should confront this
immediately. Hatasuko nodded, so without a word, they both swam away from
Haizo. He stared after them with a look of confusion, but his fear stopped him
from calling after them. Even as Hatasuko climbed out of the pinkish water, he
could feel countless sets of eyes burning into him. Vaida was slower to emerge because
her smaller body could not swim as quickly. Their clothes were plastered to
their skin. Their hair dripped rose-colored water onto the desert sand as they
approached their sail-rana. Without any words of departure, they both jumped
into the vehicle and prepared to leave. Vaida pulled up the mast, unfolded the
sails, and pedaled slightly to help the boat move. Just a couple seconds later,
the giant sail caught the powerful wind, the wheels accelerated, and the
sail-rana started rolling north-northwest.
“This
shouldn’t have happened,” Hatasuko said, finally piercing the silence.
“There’s
only two ways this could have happened. If they were touched by the darkness,
then maybe they learned the secrets from the tempest… but I doubt it. I know
this isn’t what you want to hear, um, I don’t know how to say it… but I think
someone was watching us. Someone must have seen you fight the Interfecti,”
Vaida muttered.
“They
must have seen the array of black fire. The tempest replenished me many times.
Do you really think an evacuee could have seen it?” he asked.
“I
think… it might be much worse than that. Don’t you remember? For the first few
fights, we, um, didn’t know that the array worked on living people. We used to
think that the black fire just took a soul from the tempest. But in Procella,
you discovered that the array, that the glowing symbol…” Vaida said, trailing
off.
“I
discovered that the array could burn a person trapped in a body just as easily
as it burns a person trapped in my head. We inadvertently proved that anyone in
the world can become an Astrodeus by killing people with that symbol,” Hatasuko
groaned, throwing his big hand on his face.
“I
don’t know if it happened in Procella or Collobos, but it doesn’t change
anything. Someone saw you, probably someone we were trying to save from the
Interfectus. They must have not even cared about the suffering. How could they
do that? How could they use living people as fuel? It’s horrible,” Vaida
whispered.
Hatasuko
looked over his shoulder and noticed that he could not see the Fons Vitae
anymore. The starlight was not strong enough to illuminate its water from this
far away. As a result, the only light now was that of the pulsing stars in the
sky. The desert sand reflected the starlight and created a beautiful glow that
guided their journey.
Still
overwhelmed, Hatasuko said, “I always thought an Astrodeus was meant to defend people
from the Interfecti. I knew that somehow, someday, other Astrodei would come
about, but I never expected this. I never thought they would be villains.
Perhaps I overestimated people. Maybe I just gave us too much credit. How was I
supposed to know that people would want to become monsters?”
“Hatasuko,
I really hate to say it, but, um, I think it makes perfect sense. This array of
black fire rewards malevolence. You can use it humanely because
you can harvest lost souls from the tempest, but very, very few people have
that same opportunity. If anyone else ever wants quintessence, they must
kill to get it. They must make someone else pay the ultimate sacrifice. This means
that most of the time, only someone truly awful can use the array. Only someone
truly awful can get quintessence. Only someone truly awful can become an
Astrodeus. And as a reward for their evil, they’re given the gift of
superstrength,” said Vaida as she nervously twisted her hair.
Since
he could tell she was distressed, Hatasuko reached over and slid his fingers
into her dark hair. His fingertips ran gently along her scalp as he combed his
fingers through her hair. He could feel her nerves start to settle as he
continued this. After a few more seconds, she turned her head and tried to look
over her right shoulder, but she could not see him through her blind eye. She
then turned the other way so that he could see a smile on the unscarred side of
her face. Hatasuko smiled back, but he could still see fear in her blue eye.
Hatasuko explained, “When Madeline used to speak to me
from the tempest, she told me that Astrodeus powers are unique. The strength of
judgment is mine and mine alone. It’s nice to know that when we confront these
two Astrodei, they won’t have my same power, but it also means we don’t know
what to expect. They could have anything. We must proceed with caution.”
“The
strength of judgment… is that what you decided to call your power?” Vaida
asked, trying again to disguise her nervousness.
“It’s
an interim name. I’m horrible at naming things,” he replied with a dry chuckle.
“At
least you didn’t call it a blend-shredder,” Vaida teased, giggling.
“Yeah.
I guess it’s just weird that someone saw me swing my sword on a person in the
first place. Both times, I thought I was closer to the Interfectus than anyone
else. I thought everyone else was gone. I wouldn’t have done it if I thought
people were watching. I just can’t figure out why someone would be close enough
to see me. Everyone was supposed to evacuate,” Hatasuko wondered aloud.
Vaida
nodded and mumbled, “You’re right. I know it’s a little too soon to jump to
conclusions, but that makes it sound intentional. Someone must have chosen
not to run away from the Interfecti. In other words, someone must have wanted
to stay behind and watch you, specifically. It wasn’t a coincidence. But I
don’t understand why.”
A
cold wave of realization ran through Hatasuko’s body. He pulled his hand out of
Vaida’s hair while he fought through a stream of dark thoughts. Vaida glanced
over at him to see why he stopped playing with her hair, but an anxious look
crossed her face when she saw his troubled expression.
“The
only explanation… is that someone was so desperate to watch us that they didn’t
care if they threw their life on the line. But who would be so obsessed with
power that they would risk their lives just to watch someone else fight? It
doesn’t make sense,” said Hatasuko.
“Unless
they’ve reached a state of despair where they aren’t afraid of dying. You and I
are both familiar with that dark place. It’s easy to risk your life when you
think it isn’t worth anything,” Vaida answered with a small sigh.
“I’ll
never let you feel that way ever again.”
Vaida
gave him a shy smile, but he could see the confliction in her eyes. She lifted
her scarred right hand and stared at it intently. Though Hatasuko could not see
her eyes, he knew that she stared at her burns in contemplation. When the
sail-rana ran over a small rock that shook the ship, she grabbed the steering
wheel and straightened the vehicle. She never glanced back at her scars, but
she stared silently over the starlit horizon as they sailed on.
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