Chapter Twenty-Four – Imaginary Friend

          A World without Misery (Interitus 1: Book 0)

            Chapter Twenty-Four – Imaginary Friend

 

            The chorus of screaming voices bellowed endlessly in the depths of his mind. Their agonized shouts swirled in his head; he could feel their cries as concretely as he could feel the soft sand beneath his body. Though the voices were mostly incoherent, and those which were coherent endlessly echoed the same hopeless shouts, Hatasuko listened carefully to the tempest. He analyzed every voice and investigated every word, desperately searching for Vaida. Every time a woman’s voice yelled anything at all, he felt a surge of hopeful adrenaline, but then the misery returned as he realized that the voice was not hers. The voice was never hers. He knew that it was a hopeless twist of fate for him to now dig deeper into the abyss, since he had always tried to ignore it in the past. He had always tried to look away from the darkness, but now he had jumped in headfirst, swimming deeper with every passing moment.

            A flash of light appeared and interrupted his concentration on the tempest. He was hopeful at first that Vaida would somehow contact him in this way, but then he realized that real light shone on his open eyes. It was the light of countless stars, flickering endlessly across the vast canvas of the dark sky. The pulsing starlight shone down upon the white sand and the ocean waves. He closed his eyes and tried to force himself back into the tempest.

            “I can’t let myself wake up. I haven’t found her yet,” Hatasuko whispered.

            “Maybe she isn’t coming. Get your ass up off the beach and get to work, boy. You’re not helping anything by crying like a bitch,” said a sharp, low voice from the edge of the tempest.

            “What? Who the hell are you?” Hatasuko demanded.

            “They say a boy forgets quickly when he falls in love. I guess it’s true, not that it matters. Peel yourself off the sand, but don’t you dare say anything out loud. No one can know that we are speaking. People are watching, boy,” Lazaro instructed.

            “Lazaro? Is that you? You are so not the person I was looking for.”

            “That doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to me, boy. You have to think rationally; wishes and hopes aren’t gonna do shit. Get up out of the dirt, push the boat in the water, and start rowing south. I’m tired of watching you waste so much time,” Lazaro retorted.

            Hatasuko sighed, but on some level, he knew that his late mentor was right. He had never found anyone in the tempest by specifically looking for them; the other souls had simply wandered to him. In his heart, he refused to acknowledge the futility of searching for Vaida’s voice in the endless abyss. But at the same time, he was also pragmatic enough to understand that Lazaro just wanted to help. Hatasuko opened his golden eyes, threw himself onto his feet, and glanced around the empty beach. 

            On the western edge of the beach, the steaming waves rolled ashore and crashed upon the sand. Most citizens of Occasa stayed closer to the city’s center, all doing what they could to help the victims, leaving the beach empty and quiet. Hatasuko had no idea how many days had passed since the onslaught, but it made no difference to him. He walked over to the wedges beneath the sail-rana’s wheels, pulled them out, and tossed them inside. He gave one final glance to the large tarp that covered the backseat of the ship, and then he jumped into the front. Hatasuko pedaled until the ship reached the water, and when it splashed into the sea, he reached into the hatch on the floor. He switched the gears so that the steering wheel would turn the rudder instead of the wheels.

            It was not long before the steaming ocean carried Hatasuko far from shore. He pedaled with the currents and pushed through the waves. After several minutes of pedaling, he felt the bow of his ship begin to spin from west to south, alerting him that he had reached an ocean current which flowed southward. But since it was weaker than any of the rivers in Agrideī, he still had to pedal with it. The small waves swept eastward as he pedaled, but he could not steer into or away from them; he could only shift his weight to keep the sail-rana from tipping.

            “So why am I heading south? You don’t expect me to meet with your fortunetellers again, do you?” Hatasuko asked dryly.

            “Can’t you remember anything, boy? You and the stray talked about going to see Caelicola. You said something about wanting to ask him for more power. You need to go there, but I can tell you right now that that son of a bitch won’t give you a thing,” Lazaro retorted.

            “Wait, how do you even know Caelicola’s name? And how do you know that?”

            “Boy, I have been doing what you’re doing for a very long time. I’ve failed many more times than you. I have watched cities full of people die because I couldn’t fend off an Interfectus. You can bet your ass that I tried to get more power as soon as I learned that God lives among us. I’ve met with Caelicola many times, but he never gave me shit. The most I could get from him was that Interfectus shield, just the same as he did for you. I lied when I said I broke it off an Interfectus, but it got you to listen,” Lazaro explained.

            “Then what’s the point in even trying to find him?! This is ridiculous. Everything’s so pointless. If he isn’t going to give me his powers, then why am I-”

            “Because you are going to take the powers, Hatasuko. I’m through playing games with a man who’s too much of a coward to save the world from the monsters he created. He does not deserve anyone’s sympathy, especially when you consider what’s at stake,” said Lazaro.

            As Hatasuko pedaled on and steered the sail-rana around a crashing wave, he contemplated Lazaro’s words. He narrowly dodged the wave, though the warm water still splashed him. Despite the warmth of the ocean and the air it heated, Hatasuko still felt cold as ice on the inside.

            “But how am I supposed to do that? How do I take the powers from him? I doubt I could just wrestle him and let him go in exchange for Omnipotence,” Hatasuko said to Lazaro at the edge of the tempest.

            “Hardly anyone in the world knows that Caelicola even exists, and among those, hardly any know him as well as I do. No one else knows that he has a family. No one knows that they live underground on the fourth isle of Aether,” Lazaro answered.

            “I really, really don’t like where this is going.”

            Despite his apprehension, Hatasuko still did not give Lazaro his full concentration. Even as they spoke together at the edge of the tempest, Hatasuko tried to continue scanning the voices of the tempest in the background. But no matter how hard he tried, he still could not find Vaida. He began to fear that she would be unable to piece herself back together, since this same fate afflicted every soul in the tempest except for an extremely small fraction.

            Lazaro explained, “The fourth isle of Aether is a volcanic island, boy. And when you use your Astrodeus power, when you glow and swing your sword, you are the strongest thing in the goddamn universe. Caelicola knows that. Because of that all-seeing eye he’s got, that son of a bitch sees everything. So if you go to his island, hold your sword to the ground, and give him a real threat, he may gave in. If you use that power to strike the island itself, you’ll kill his whole family. They’ll either get crushed from above or exploded from below. It’s all the same. It’s not like we’ve got anything to lose.”

            Just the mere suggestion of this shot an icy jolt through Hatasuko’s veins. As he pedaled southward with the ocean currents, he glanced over at his sword on the floor and shuddered. He felt a pained panic just from the thought of using it to threaten innocent people. He quickly glanced away from the sword and saw the empty container which once held the water from the Fons Vitae. There had been enough water to heal the injuries on his legs and left arm, but most importantly, the colorful water had sealed the deep gashes on his left side. With a sad half-smile, Hatasuko realized that that was the last time Vaida would ever save his life.

“If he really knows everything, then doesn’t he know that you’re telling me this? Doesn’t he know that I’m on my way? He’s going to be prepared, Lazaro.”

Though they communicated invisibly at the edge of the tempest, Hatasuko could sense Lazaro’s frustration. Lazaro demonstrated his frustration with a long silence followed by a deep groan. He said with a sigh, “You will need to understand the omnipotence powers if we ever want a shot at pulling this off. I don’t know if you’ll have to fight him or if he’ll just give in like the bitch he is, but I’m gonna explain every power since you’re clearly too stupid to figure it out on your own.”

             “You’re an asshole.”

“Whatever. Let’s start with the big eye. I want to explain the power of omniscience before you say something stupid and give away the whole plan. The all-seeing eye gives Caelicola the power to see and hear everything in the universe all at once. I’m not sure how that son of a bitch can sort through all that information, but he can. The important thing is that he can only see and hear things. Caelicola cannot read thoughts, and since you and I are speaking to each other inside your big ugly head, he’s got no idea. He thinks you’re coming for a friendly visit,” Lazaro explained.

“That’s good to know, but don’t act like I agreed to go with your plan. It’s horrible. I can’t threaten innocent people.”

“But it’s for the greater good. We both know and accept that, boy. You are already a killer with good intentions. What have you got to lose now? I don’t need to tell you that sometimes sacrifices need to be made. You already know,” he argued.

“Yeah. I know. I just wish it didn’t have to be this way. I’ve always dreamed of saving the world without having to sacrifice anyone. Without having to kill my own conscience,” Hatasuko admitted.

“You know what I’m going to say. Don’t you, boy?”

“Yeah. The privilege of a dream is that it’s a fantasy. If it happens, then it was never truly a dream to begin with. I remember. You told me that on the day you died. I had heard it once before, too, from the girl who showed-”

“I didn’t ask for your whole goddamn life story,” interrupted Lazaro.

Hatasuko sighed, but in a way, he was thankful for Lazaro’s cruel and constant backlash. Because so much information passed between them at the edge of the tempest, Hatasuko managed to distract himself from Vaida’s death. He had been wallowing in misery ever since she bled out in that small Occasa home, but now he could distract himself with Lazaro’s help. But when Hatasuko realized that he was thankful for the distraction, he thought to himself that he should not want to be distracted. Vaida was still the single most important thing in his world, even though she was gone. It felt disrespectful for his mind’s eye to look in a different direction.

Lazaro explained with a bitter voice, “As far as I understand it, the power of omniscience is linked to a much more dangerous power. That power is called omnipresence. It’s a load of bullshit, but it basically means that Caelicola’s in all physical places, all the time, all at the same time. That son of a bitch is everywhere at once. It means that his consciousness is everywhere; this is why he has omniscience. His body may look like it’s only in one place, but the bastard can switch to anywhere else in the universe. It’s like he can teleport. It is very dangerous.”

“Then this is impossible! If I tell him I want his powers, why wouldn’t he just teleport away? It’s hopeless,” Hatasuko argued.

“It’s sad to see that you’re just as stupid as ever, boy. That’s the whole point of threatening his family! He can run away, but they cannot. You swing your sword once with your power, and everyone under that island is dead. He knows that. He won’t leave them.”

“Right. Okay. I guess this means that I have to give the threat. I was really hoping I could get out of it, but you’re right. It’s for the greater good,” Hatasuko confessed.

“You’re damn right. You’re gonna have to wear your shield on your back when you go see Caelicola. There’s a good chance that this’ll turn into some big shitstorm, so you better take precautions. He can teleport behind you and attack immediately. You’ll have to be ready.”

As Hatasuko pedaled onward and used the steering wheel to dodge waves, he realized that his whole body was soaking wet. This was due in part to the sweatiness of constant exercise and the heat of the steaming ocean, but another part of this wetness came from the sweaty onset of fear. Hatasuko knew that he had no way to possibly win in a fight against someone who was, for all intents and purposes, the god of the universe.

            Hatasuko reasoned, “I’ve actually seen him use destruction. He can delete anything he touches! If he gets behind me, he could just destroy the shield and then my body. A shield is useless against him.”

“Listen to me, boy. Your shield will not last long, but it will protect you from anything that’s not destruction. Besides, that power will only hit the shield at first. This means that it will save your life once, if this turns into a fight. It also helps that this good-for-nothing son of a bitch doesn’t practice his powers since he never does anything. He won’t be quick enough to destroy two things at once. What you really have to watch out for is the power of creation; it’s not one to take lightly,” Lazaro warned.

“I get it. I’ll wear the damn shield. Please, Lazaro, tell me about creation.”

There was a moment of silence at the edge of the tempest. Lazaro mumbled as he contemplated the best way to explain this fundamental power. As countless screams roared on in the background, all incoherently declaring their misery, Hatasuko forced himself to drown them out. He knew that Vaida was not among them.

“His right hand controls matter, and his left hand controls energy. This is true for both creation and destruction. The creation of matter is simple to understand, even for you, and that’s because it’s boundless. That son of a bitch has the power to create anything he wants, whenever he wants, just by closing his eyes and holding his fingers together. It’s the same motion for destruction. This means that he can give himself any weapon or defense, so it’s impossible to disarm him. But be careful, boy, because sometimes it only looks like he’s going to create. Since it’s the same hand and the same motion, that spineless hunk of shit might be planning to destroy something instead. And he can destroy anything he wants. In close combat, it’s the ultimate weapon,” Lazaro explained to his former student.

Even as Lazaro spoke, Hatasuko imagined having the ability to use all these legendary powers for himself. He envisioned himself seeing an Interfectus with the eye of omniscience, teleporting there with omnipresence, and then destroying it with the power of destruction.

Lazaro continued, “Any way it goes, the left hand is far more dangerous. It can destroy the energy of a moving object, so it’s basically the perfect shield, but you really gotta watch out for his creation of energy. Sure, he can create kinetic energy and launch a weapon at insanely fast speeds, but that’s just the surface. Listen carefully, boy. That damned left hand can create heat, lightning, wind, sound, light, fire, motion, spinning motion—it can create any kind of energy you imagine. I know you’re a dumbass just as you always were, but I hope even you can understand just how deadly this is.”

“I think I get it. But to tell you the truth, I’m still hoping Caelicola will just give me the powers when I talk to him. I can reason with him without even needing to threaten his family. He’s seen everything I’ve done! He knows that I can stop the Interfecti. If I can convince him to transfer omnipotence to me, I’ll be happy. Hopefully there will be no fight. All I wanted was to save the world. I don’t think I should be punished for that.”

“Be prepared for anything, boy. That’s all any of us can do.”

“I guess. Lazaro, can I ask you something? This power of creation… can it be used to bring the dead back to life? Since it can create anything…” Hatasuko asked, trailing off.

“Let’s hope not. If he can, then that son of a bitch doesn’t have to worry about you killing his family. He could just kill you and bring them right back. I don’t know much about creation and life energy, so I can’t say,” Lazaro confessed.

“Yeah. I suppose you’re right. Alright, I have one more question. When I go to him, when I get there, you’ll stay with me, won’t you?” Hatasuko asked.

“I have been waiting to watch someone kick his sorry ass for nine years, boy. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I will be waiting here in the tempest. You let me know when you’re coming up to the fourth isle.”

“Are you saying that this conversation is over?” said Hatasuko.

“Either you suck at navigation, or you’re going to the rock islands for a reason. I understand that a man’s got things he needs to take care of, before he’s ready to stare death in the face. I’ll give you your space, boy.”

            After that, Lazaro fell quiet. Hatasuko pedaled on through the steamy air and weak ocean waves, but he continued to boat directly south, drifting toward the many small rock islets outside the Isles of Aether. Even though he still considered Lazaro to be a horrible man in many ways, he was thankful that he could still speak with the ghost of his former mentor. He recalled the times when Lazaro infuriated him with the way he mistreated Vaida, but he also understood that it was pointless to cling onto the past. It was especially pointless to use the past against a man who was already dead. Besides, the only thing in the past that mattered to him was Vaida, and now that he had lost her, the past was not worth holding onto. The memories they made formed a complete set of stories, but it was a story that stopped far too soon.

“Why won’t she come to me? I don’t want to think about it. I don’t think I could accept it. She must be in the tempest. She must be there, right? I don’t even know why I’m saying this. I don’t even know who I’m taking to. I’m just as lonely as I was before… but things were different then. I remember when I didn’t need anyone… when I didn’t need her. But I need her now. I need to hear her voice tell me that everything’s going to be okay. I need to hold her hand and feel the tempest fade away. I need to see the way she smiles when I run my fingers through her hair. I need to feel the warmth that we shared. I never thought that my heart could get so empty, or that I would need someone else just so I could smile. I never imagined I could come to love someone so much.”

After a brief period of pedaling, Hatasuko approached the shore of a volcanic island in the middle of the steaming ocean. Though it appeared to be indistinguishable from the other islands in the area, Hatasuko recognized it because he and Vaida had slept here once before. Just like last time, the surface of the island shimmered from the beautiful starlight. The rocky island was wet from the steam and the spray of small waves. Even from a short distance, Hatasuko could see that a small stem had broken through the ground near the middle of the island. It was one of the seeds that he had planted here with Vaida.

            When Hatasuko came close to shore, he jumped into the shallow water and landed on a smooth rock. The water felt warm, but it did not stop him from shivering. He dragged the sail-rana the rest of the way onto the island so that he could access the backseat without stepping into the water. Once it was parked, Hatasuko grabbed an albapomus from the front seat and tossed it toward the middle of the island. It splashed in the starlit puddle when it landed.

He picked up his sword, took a deep breath, and then walked over to the middle of the rocky island. In the space beside a green stem, Hatasuko stabbed his sword in through the rock. Since the ground was wet and soft, his sword cut more easily than he expected. Beneath the rocky surface, he found a hard dirt through which it was easier to dig. In just a matter of minutes, Hatasuko had dug a sizeable hole in the island, though he surrounded it with dirt and rock so that water would not pour into the opening. He found the albapomus he tossed and kicked it into the hole with his right foot.

Now that this was done, Hatasuko dropped his sword on the ground. He took another deep breath and then approached the backseat of the sail-rana. After he pulled off the blanket, he leaned down and gently placed his hands beneath her arms. He looked away as he lifted Vaida into the air. He tried not to cry when he felt the cold touch of her skin, but his effort was in vain. He slowly walked with her across the shimmering island until he reached the edge of the hole.

“The water drips into the hole as a trickle, pooling at the bottom and slowly, slowly rising. I didn’t want there to be water in her seaside tomb. But if it were up to me, there would be no tomb at all,” whispered Hatasuko.

The trickles of water glistened in the starlight. Hatasuko gently lowered Vaida into the hole until most of her body lay underground. Her head and shoulders were elevated because he could not let go of her hand. Even though it was cold, damp, limp, and lifeless, he could not bring himself to let go of her.

“I was really hoping you would be here for this, or that you could say something that would somehow make all this alright. But in truth, I think I knew from the start that this separation is eternal. I was just trying to be a foolish optimist. I just wanted to trick myself into somehow thinking that this curse is not a curse, or that I could use it as a lifeline to the girl I love. But I was wrong. This curse is the evidence of my condemnation. I’m more miserable than ever before, but I think the misery lost its teeth now that there’s nothing left to lose. I just wish… it didn’t have to end like this. I should have never let this happen to you. I should have thrown away my destiny as soon as I got the chance. I should have taken your hand and run away from the monsters. Then you would still be alive. You and I would be sitting on this beach, eating fruit, watching the waves crash on the rocks. But instead, because of my decision, because of my destiny, I’m burying you on the island which was meant to be our home.

“I know I’ll never be at peace with this. I know I can’t ever forgive myself. I don’t know how long I’ll live or how long I’ll bear this burden on my shoulders, but I will never forget you. I will carry your memory into the ever after. I only hope that you’ve found your peace. You’re all better now. No more scars, no more nightmares, no more days lost fighting yourself.”

            As soon as Hatasuko let go of her hand, he felt a heavy pressure in his trembling face. He bit his lips from the inside and tried to breathe in deeply, but his breath was interrupted by a sudden sob that he could not fight. It came out first as a series of rapid exhales, and in just seconds, tears began pouring from his eyes. The tears rolled down his nose and chin. They slowly fell into the small pool of water that surrounded Vaida’s body. Every drop struck the puddle and sent out a tiny ripple. Her dark hair swayed slightly from the motion.

Hatasuko closed his eyes as it all poured out, and he grabbed the mounds of dirt so that he would not have to watch the burial. He pulled the dirt into the hole with his hands, filling the grave as quickly as he could. With every handful of dirt, the pressure in his chest felt heavier than before; he could hardly catch a breath through his powerful sobbing. With every thump of dirt that fell into the hole, he felt like Vaida was fading away, as if the dirt somehow increased the distance between them.

Even after the burial was complete, and a layer of smoothened dirt covered Vaida’s grave, Hatasuko crouched beside her on his hands and his knees. He could not fight the words from rising in his mind—the same words that Lazaro had spoken long ago. He struggled to accept the reality that he would never hear her timid whisper ever again. He would never get to see her eyes light up when she spoke of her inventions. He would never feel her warm hand cling to him, late in the day as they both fell asleep. He would never feel her silky hair on his fingertips as he slowly scratched her head. As he acknowledged the reality that he would never accept this, that this would never be okay, he felt the pressure in his chest transform into a soul-eating emptiness. Tears ran down his shimmering cheeks and fell onto the starlit ground beneath him.

“If tears were blood, then I would share this tomb with you,” he whispered.

The waves stopped crashing just for a moment. The gusting wind died down at last. The ocean sounded calmer, and mist covered the small isle. Many hours passed in silence.

***

When Hatasuko finally felt strong enough to stand, he rose to his feet and marched back to the sail-rana. He pulled it along with his arms, turned it around on the island, and then pushed the bow back into the water. The small waves lightly rocked the ship back and forth, but the rocking stopped after he jumped in. The ship rolled the rest of the way down the slope until it started floating. He started pedaling and steered toward the west, though he kept his head over his shoulder as he left the island where he buried her. Before long, the isle was too far away for him to see, so he retreated into his head and searched for the edge of the tempest.

“Lazaro, can I ask you why you hate Caelicola so much? It’s not that I disagree with you. It just seems that there’s a bit of… resentment,” Hatasuko said.

“It’s simple. I believe that a man is meant to deal with the consequences of his own actions,” answered Lazaro, loudly enough to be heard over the symphony of screaming souls.

“What are the consequences? What was the action?”

            “I can tell you when all of this is through, boy. I don’t want your decisions here to be influenced by something as meaningless as the past,” said Lazaro.

“I have something I need to ask you before I encounter Caelicola. To tell you the truth, it’s something I’ve been wondering about for a long time now.”

“Alright, boy. What’s your question?” Lazaro asked.

“I’ve seen almost everything that Agrideī has to offer, since I’ve been running across the land for so long. But in all the time that I’ve been searching, and in all the stories I’ve heard from the abyss, I never found anything quite like the Interfecti. They are supremely different from anything else in this world. They just don’t belong,” Hatasuko explained as he pedaled on.

Lazaro remained silent for a moment. As his former mentor contemplated a response, Hatasuko listened to the chorus of endless misery around them. Even now, he caught himself listening closely, desperately searching for Vaida’s shy whisper, but it never came.

“You are right, boy. The Interfectus does not fit with the natural world because it did not evolve or adapt like everything else. Those demons were given a free pass into our world; they exist because of creation,” Lazaro admitted.

“Wait, Lazaro, are you telling me that Caelicola created the Interfecti?!”

After another moment of silence, Lazaro answered, “He did indeed, boy. Caelicola, the man with more power than anyone else in this universe, is responsible for the Interfecti. That son of a bitch created them all, though it was not on purpose. When I first found out, I had that bastard pressed to a wall with a knife to his throat; I was furious. He told me everything. The Interfecti were just a recurring nightmare at first. They were demons which would roam his dreams, like they danced in the shadows of reality. He was horrified by them. They haunted him ever since he was a boy. They were in his nightmares, his daydreams—these monsters tormented him like they were voices in his goddamn head. Even the powers of omnipotence couldn’t let him beat his fear. And one night, while the son of a bitch was sleeping, his creation power activated. Creation is the bridge between dreams and reality, boy. It was a portal for the demons. That is how they came to exist in this world.

“I understand that men make mistakes. Accidents can happen, and I’m not angry about that. But before anyone can call himself a real man, he must face his mistakes and make them right. He can’t just let other people suffer the consequences in his place. This is why I hate Caelicola, boy. He unleashed them on our world and won’t do a damn thing about it.”

            Hatasuko could not help but fall silent. As their two souls stood at the edge of the tempest, locked between screams and scarring memories, Hatasuko dove through his memories. He reflected upon every city that had fallen to the demons. His mind recalled everyone who ever died to the demons.

“What are you thinking, boy?”

Hatasuko answered, “Thank you for telling me this. You’ve given me all the strength I need. I won’t question myself, and I will not hesitate. Everyone I’ve ever loved is dead because of him, so my threat is only fair. I won’t think twice about threatening his family, and if he does not comply, then I will follow through without any regrets.”

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